It’s time to head back to school and routines

girl with blue backpack on street heading to school — Photo by Jake Ingle on Unsplash

Back already?

While we hold onto these August days, soaking up as much sun and food on a stick as we possibly can, it is indeed time to head back to school. For parents and kids alike, this time of year can feel overwhelming and bring out nerves and new or returning mental health concerns.

One step at a time

When we have multiple tasks to complete and lists to check off, our brain becomes overwhelmed and it can be hard to make simple decisions. The best thing we can do is tackle our to-do’s by focusing on one thing in the moment (part of a DBT skill called IMPROVE).

Mindfulness exercises, focusing on our breathing, practicing a grounding skill like 5-4-3-2-1 are all ways we can tune into the present moment and reduce the noise of future worrying and ruminations on the past.

Whether you’re planning pick-up and drop-off schedules, meal planning, organizing extracurricular activities, or juggling work and volunteering in your child’s classroom, try practicing one thing at the moment and notice if you feel more present or settled in your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations.

Check-Ins

Check-ins are a way to set aside daily/weekly time to talk to your kiddo, your partner, your kids’ teachers, your child’s counselor or therapist, etc. Regularly scheduled check-ins are ways to connect and reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings when things are left unsaid.

A daily check-in is as simple as talking to your child about their day and asking questions like, “What was one success and setback in your day?” Take the time to listen to your kid (or partner) and acknowledge both the success and setback. It can be tempting to “fix” the setback and/or rescue kids when they are facing difficulties. Before jumping into fix-it mode, ask your child how they feel about the setback. You may be surprised to learn they just want to talk about it and have someone else hear their story (vs. problem-solving).

Introducing a mindfulness practice each day is another great connection point with your kid or partner. Try using tools like the G.L.A.D. technique (Grateful, Learned, Accomplished, Delighted) as a way to focus on what is going well in life! Communication games are also a fun way to infuse new conversations with your child and partner!

Check-ins with school personnel or your child’s counselor/therapist will look different for every kid, but essentially it could be a short email, a text, setting up 5 minutes before/after your child’s therapy session to talk to the counselor/therapist, etc. The goal is to ask how you can support your child at home, inquire about observations the school or therapist has, and share areas of growth and improvement, as well as problem solving when issues arise (new IEP plans, scheduling additional consults with professionals, evaluations, tutoring, etc.).

Tummy aches and mental health

Parents often cite the start of the school year as the return of tummy ache season. How our bodies, especially kids’ bodies, process and understand worry, uncertainty, and fear is in the form of tummy aches (it’s often right before a big test or project)! Our body is a powerful indicator that something feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar (uncomfortable and unfamiliar does not mean it is bad!).

Regardless of whether your kid is starting preschool or their final year of college, it is a new year with new teachers, new classmates, new classes, new routines and worries and tummy aches will show up (and that’s perfectly normal!).

Taking time to acknowledge the tummy ache (headaches are also common) does not mean that you allow your kiddo to ditch the second day of school. It is a sign that it is time to get curious about what is going on in your child’s mind.

Some great resources and books on anxiety are found in our summer blog post! Also, check out Lynn Lyons’ podcast - Flusterclux for ways to support your child beyond back to school!

Child Mind Institute offers helpful articles and tips for managing back-to-school nerves and helping your child (and family) set the tone for a great school year.

Fall is a busy season. It may feel like adding therapy appointments to an already full calendar is the worst idea. The routine and structure of regular therapy sessions can be very beneficial for you and your child to manage daily stress and collaborate on tools and resources that are specific to your needs.

Remember to have fun!

Just because summer ends, does not mean the fun has to stop. Fall is a great time to set new routines like game nights, free-play time, and create fall bucket lists, as well as talk about intentions and hopes for the season!

Ready to start collaborating? Reach out today to set up a complimentary phone consultation with one of our providers! We are so grateful to start this journey together.